INTRODUCTORY ARTICLE FOUR OF THE SEVEN PART SERIES: THE STORIES BEHIND MEMORIES ARE MADE OF THIS
One of the things I enjoy most about telling stories is that they do not all have to make us feel the same way.
Some stories make us laugh. Others remind us of people we have known, places we have visited or experiences that have stayed with us for years. And then there are those that make us stop for a moment and think about what happened, why it happened and what we might have learned from it.
When I put together Memories Are Made of This, I wanted to include that variety. The fifty-one stories are drawn from my own experiences over several decades and across three countries. They are not all adventures, and they certainly do not all have happy or amusing endings.
Life does not work like that. Neither, I think, should a collection of true stories.
The stories that make us laugh
There is something rather satisfying about being able to laugh at an experience that might not have seemed particularly funny at the time.
One of my favourite examples is the story of Farm Visit, which takes place during a holiday on a large farm near West Nicholson, in what was then Rhodesia. It was an exciting trip involving wildlife, horse riding, snorkelling and exploring the countryside.
There was just one small problem. I had an unfortunate encounter with a tree.
We were standing on the back of a Land Rover during a wildlife safari. My friend was pointing out the animals as we travelled along. At one point he shouted, "Duck!"
I quickly turned around and asked, "Where?"
A branch of a tree promptly smacked me square in the head.
I suppose I should have paid more attention to the instruction rather than treating it as a question about wildlife. It is one of those incidents that has become much funnier with the passage of time.
Then there is The Big Flap, which involves a rather unpleasant encounter with a spider during a hike in South Africa. I spent a considerable amount of time searching my backpack and clothing, repeatedly checking that the spider had not decided to accompany me on the rest of the journey. Eventually, I continued along the trail, somewhat wiser and thoroughly embarrassed.
These are not stories about great achievements. They are simply things that happened. But they remind me that some of life's most entertaining moments are the ones we never planned.
The stories that make us feel something
Not every memory is amusing. Some bring back people, relationships and moments that have a more personal significance.
In Stonehenge, I describe the arrival of my parents in Britain from South Africa in August 2004. They had decided to make a new home for themselves in the UK. Their arrival at Heathrow was not entirely straightforward, particularly because my mother had some difficulties with the immigration arrangements.
Once we had sorted that out, I decided not to take them directly to my London flat. Instead, I took them on a little tour of the Salisbury area, visiting Old Sarum, Woodhenge and Stonehenge.
I remember watching my parents take in the sight of Stonehenge. Only sixteen hours earlier they had been in South Africa, and now they were standing in front of one of Britain's most recognisable historic landmarks.
They were fascinated by it. I was pleased that I could give them that experience, particularly as they had travelled such a long way to begin a new chapter of their lives.
There is nothing particularly dramatic about that memory. It is simply a day spent with my parents, seeing something interesting together. But when I look back, it has a significance that goes beyond the places we visited.
Sometimes the memories that touch us most are not about what we did. They are about who was there with us.
The stories that make us think
Some experiences stay with us because they raise questions or change the way we look at something.
In Civil Engineering, I look back at a period when I was working on major construction projects in South Africa. It was demanding work, and I learned a great deal. But one particular incident brought home the importance of safety.
I was working on a suspended platform inside a large chimney when the equipment holding it in place failed. The platform dropped approximately ten metres before the safety mechanisms gripped the cables again.
It was a frightening experience and a reminder of how much we depend on equipment being properly maintained and inspected. I discussed the problem with the foreman, and various ideas emerged about how to address it.
That period also made me think about my future career. I had originally wanted to pursue civil engineering, but I was becoming increasingly aware that the profession might not be right for me. Eventually, I moved into computing, a career that suited my interests better.
Looking back, I can see that changing direction was an important decision. Sometimes an experience does not give us an immediate answer, but it helps us recognise which direction we should take.
Another story that makes me think is Comet. It includes my interest in astronomy and my observations of Halley's Comet in 1985 and 1986. The story also recalls the Space Shuttle Challenger disaster in January 1986, when the shuttle disintegrated shortly after launch.
I remember watching the tragedy unfold on television. It was a sobering reminder that even the most impressive technological achievements carry risks, and that scientific progress does not always come without human cost.
The story brings together my interest in space, a significant event in modern history and a personal memory of trying to observe Halley's Comet with my father from his fishing boat. Unfortunately, the boat would not stay still, the mist began to form and the comet remained elusive. My father caught no fish either.
It was not a particularly successful evening for either of us, but it is a memory I still enjoy recalling.
Different emotions, shared experiences
I think one of the reasons people enjoy reading true stories is that they can often recognise something of themselves in them.
We may have grown up in different countries, worked in different professions and travelled to different places, but many of our experiences are remarkably similar.
We have all had embarrassing moments. We have all made decisions that changed our direction in life. We have met people who made a difference, and we have memories that become more important as time passes.
A story about a mishap might remind someone of an incident they would rather forget. A story about family might bring back memories of someone they miss. A story about a difficult decision might encourage someone to think about a choice they once made.
The details may be different, but the feelings are familiar.
That is what I find interesting about storytelling. It gives us an opportunity to share experiences without assuming that everyone will interpret them in exactly the same way.
Fifty-one stories, and plenty of different feelings
When I assembled Memories Are Made of This, I did not set out to produce a collection in which every story had to fit a particular emotional category.
I simply wanted to share experiences that I thought were worth remembering. Some are humorous, some are serious and others simply describe something interesting that happened.
The result is a collection that moves between laughter, surprise, nostalgia, reflection and, occasionally, sadness. There are adventures, mishaps, friendships, family memories, encounters with nature and moments that have stayed with me for reasons that are not always easy to explain.
I also wanted readers to have room to form their own impressions. I have told the stories as I remember them, but what someone else takes from them is entirely their own business.
Perhaps one reader will laugh at an incident that another finds rather embarrassing. Someone else may be reminded of a family member or an experience from their own childhood. That is part of the enjoyment.
Why the variety matters
For me, the value of a collection of memories lies in its variety.
A life is not made up entirely of happy occasions, exciting adventures or important achievements. It is a mixture of experiences, some planned and others completely unexpected. Some are over in a few minutes, yet remain in our memories for decades.
I wanted Memories Are Made of This to reflect that.
If a story makes someone laugh, that is wonderful. If another brings back a memory of someone they have loved, or encourages them to think about a decision they once made, then it has achieved something different but equally worthwhile.
And if a reader finishes the book having recognised a little of their own life in some of my experiences, then I will be very pleased.
After all, stories are not just about the person who experienced them. They are also about the people who read them, recognise something familiar and perhaps remember a story of their own.
That is the pleasure of sharing memories. They may begin with one person's experience, but they can mean something to many others.
About the author
Gregory Mark Haynes
Author | Storyteller | Speaker
Real stories. Real people. Real life.
#GregoryMarkHaynesAuthor
Article themes
#MemoriesAndMoments
