INTRODUCTORY ARTICLE SIX OF THE SEVEN PART SERIES: THE STORIES BEHIND MEMORIES ARE MADE OF THIS
I have always believed that everyone has a story worth telling. It might not be an adventure involving distant places, unusual people or unexpected events. It might simply be something that happened on an ordinary day, a conversation with someone, a chance encounter or an experience that has stayed in the memory for years.
The difficulty is that we don't always recognise these things as stories. We tend to think that a good story needs something dramatic to happen. Perhaps someone has to climb a mountain, travel to an unfamiliar country, survive an extraordinary situation or achieve something remarkable.
But I don't think that is necessarily true.
Some of the most interesting stories come from the things that happen to ordinary people going about their everyday lives.
We all experience life differently
One of the things I find interesting about people is that no two lives are quite the same. Even when two people experience the same event, they may remember it very differently.
Where we grow up, the people we meet, the places we visit and the decisions we make all contribute to the experiences we collect along the way.
I was born in Australia, spent much of my adult life in South Africa and eventually settled in Britain. Each country brought different experiences, different people and different opportunities. Some were planned, while others happened quite unexpectedly.
Looking back, I realise that many of the experiences I remember most clearly were not necessarily the ones I would have predicted at the time.
That is one of the interesting things about life. We don't always know which moments will stay with us.
Someone else might have experienced something very similar, but their story would still be different. They would have noticed different things, reacted differently and taken away their own memories.
It is this personal perspective that makes a story worth telling.
A story doesn't have to be extraordinary
I think we sometimes make storytelling more complicated than it needs to be.
There is a tendency to believe that unless something remarkable has happened, there isn't much to say. Yet an amusing misunderstanding, an unexpected meeting or a small act of kindness can make a perfectly good story.
It might be something that makes us laugh when we remember it. It might remind us of someone we haven't seen for years. Or it might be an experience that makes us think differently about something we had previously taken for granted.
The event itself doesn't have to be particularly important. What matters is what happened, how we experienced it and why it stayed in our memory.
Some stories have a clear beginning, middle and end. Others are simply accounts of something that happened, without a grand conclusion or an important lesson attached.
I don't think every story needs to teach us something. Sometimes it is enough to share an experience and allow someone else to enjoy it.
The people make the stories
When I think about many of the experiences I have collected over the years, it is often the people involved who make them memorable.
It might be a friend, a family member, a colleague or someone I met only once. Sometimes it is the things they said or did. On other occasions, it is simply the way they reacted to something that happened.
People bring their own personalities, habits and sense of humour to every situation. They can turn an ordinary event into something quite memorable, often without realising they are doing so.
I also think that stories help us recognise how much we have in common.
We may have grown up in different countries, followed different careers or lived very different lives. But we have all experienced embarrassment, disappointment, excitement, uncertainty, friendship and those occasional moments when things don't quite go according to plan.
The circumstances may differ, but the human experiences are often remarkably similar.
That is one reason I enjoy sharing stories. They can provide a connection between people who might otherwise have very little in common.
Our memories deserve to be preserved
There is another reason I believe everyone has a story worth telling. Memories don't necessarily stay with us forever.
We remember certain events in considerable detail, while others gradually become blurred. Sometimes a photograph brings something back that we had almost forgotten. A familiar place, a conversation or even a particular sound can suddenly take us back many years.
But photographs can only record part of an experience. They show us what something looked like, but they don't necessarily explain what happened, who was there, what was said or how we felt at the time.
Writing a story down gives us an opportunity to preserve more of that experience.
It doesn't have to be a book. It could be a few paragraphs in a notebook, a family history, a collection of memories or something written for children and grandchildren to read in the future.
The important thing is to record it while we can still remember enough of the detail.
I know that some of my own memories have become less precise with the passing of time. That is one of the reasons I wanted to collect my experiences in Memories Are Made of This. I didn't want to assume that I would remember everything indefinitely.
You don't have to be a writer
I also believe that people sometimes talk themselves out of telling their stories because they don't consider themselves writers.
I understand that. Not everyone enjoys writing, and not everyone wants to publish a book. But I don't think that should prevent anyone from recording or sharing their experiences.
A story doesn't need complicated language or elaborate descriptions. It needs to be honest, understandable and interesting to the person reading or listening to it.
Start with what happened. Explain where you were, who was involved and what made the experience memorable. Include the details that matter, and don't worry too much about making it sound impressive.
In fact, I think trying too hard to make a story impressive can sometimes get in the way of telling it properly.
The truth is usually interesting enough.
Every life contains something worth sharing
I don't believe that having a story worth telling means having lived an extraordinary life.
It means having lived a life, with all the experiences that come with it.
Some people have travelled extensively. Others have spent most of their lives in the same town. Some have had exciting careers, while others have devoted themselves to family, friends and their local communities.
There is no particular qualification required.
A person might have a story about growing up, a first job, an unexpected friendship, a family holiday, a difficult decision or something that happened many years ago that still makes them smile.
These experiences are part of who we are. They help explain where we have been, the people who have influenced us and the things we have learned along the way.
And although we might sometimes assume that nobody else would be interested, we may be surprised by how much someone else recognises in our experiences.
Why I keep telling stories
When I wrote Memories Are Made of This, I wasn't trying to write an autobiography or produce a chronological account of my life. I wanted to collect 51 experiences from three countries and several decades that I thought were worth sharing.
Some are amusing, some are more serious and others simply describe something that happened. They are all true stories, told from my perspective.
I hope readers enjoy them, but I also hope they might be encouraged to think about their own experiences.
Perhaps there is something they have been meaning to write down. Perhaps there is a family story that has been passed around for years but never properly recorded. Or perhaps there is an event they have almost forgotten that deserves another look.
I believe that everyone has a story worth telling. It doesn't need to be dramatic, unusual or particularly important in the wider scheme of things.
It just needs to be a story that means something to the person telling it.
And you never know. Someone else might find it more interesting than you think.
After all, we have all been somewhere, met someone and experienced something worth remembering. Sometimes, all that is needed is to sit down and tell the story.
About the author
Gregory Mark Haynes
Author | Storyteller | Speaker
Real stories. Real people. Real life.
#GregoryMarkHaynesAuthor
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